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How to set boundaries in friendships when ADHD is involved 

Author: Avery Lombardi, MSc | Reviewed by: Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries can be particularly challenging for people with ADHD. Difficulties with attention, impulsivity, and emotional regulation often make it hard to recognise limits, communicate needs clearly, or manage social energy consistently. According to NICE guidance (2025), these challenges are part of the condition and not signs of unwillingness or poor character. 

Why boundaries are hard and how to build them 

Research from Frontiers in Psychiatry (2025) shows that impulsivity and emotional dysregulation reduce self-monitoring, making it easy to overshare or overcommit in friendships. Over time, this can cause burnout or resentment on both sides. The Royal College of Psychiatrists (2024) also notes that rejection sensitivity and emotional intensity can push individuals to say “yes” too quickly, fearing conflict or disapproval. 

Practical strategies for ADHD boundary-setting 

Evidence-based approaches such as CBT, mindfulness, and behavioural coaching are recommended by NICE NG87 and NHS England (2025) to help adults identify emotional triggers, practise assertive communication, and use structured routines to avoid overextending themselves. Mindfulness and coaching help individuals pause before responding, while CBT supports reframing guilt around saying “no.” 

Key takeaway 

ADHD can make boundary-setting feel uncomfortable, but clear communication, reflection, and emotional awareness can transform friendships. Using evidence-based tools like CBT, mindfulness, and structured coaching helps people with ADHD set limits kindly and consistently, maintaining relationships built on balance and mutual respect.  

For further support, services like ADHD Certify provide ADHD assessments and medication reviews for adults. 

Avery Lombardi, MSc
Author

Avery Lombardi is a clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Clinical Psychology and a Bachelor’s in Psychology. She has professional experience in psychological assessment, evidence-based therapy, and research, working with both child and adult populations. Avery has provided clinical services in hospital, educational, and community settings, delivering interventions such as CBT, DBT, and tailored treatment plans for conditions including anxiety, depression, and developmental disorders. She has also contributed to research on self-stigma, self-esteem, and medication adherence in psychotic patients, and has created educational content on ADHD, treatment options, and daily coping strategies.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy. 

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS
Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy. 

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