Why do I still feel like a “problem kid” after decades? 

For many adults with ADHD, old school memories don’t fade; they echo. Being labelled a “troublemaker,” “lazy,” or “too much” in childhood often plants feelings of shame that can linger long after diagnosis. According to PubMed, adults who were repeatedly criticised or misunderstood as children often internalise those messages, carrying an enduring sense of being flawed or “hard work” into later life. 

How early labels shape adult identity 

Research from Frontiers in Psychology (Frontiers in Psychology) found that early criticism and stigma can create “core wounds” that influence self-esteem, relationships, and achievement. Many adults with ADHD describe working harder to prove their worth, masking traits, or fearing rejection, echoes of the “problem kid” label they once heard. 

NICE guidance (NG87) recognises that emotional recovery in adult ADHD requires psychoeducation, self-compassion, and trauma-informed support to rebuild identity. The Royal College of Psychiatrists also highlights that therapy, validation, and peer connection can help transform shame into self-understanding. 

UK charities such as Mind UK and the ADHD Foundation emphasise that unlearning old narratives is an act of healing, not denial, a way to see the difference between who you are and what you were told you were. Professional services like ADHD Certify offer assessments and ongoing reviews that can support this process through evidence-based guidance. 

Key takeaway 

Feeling like a “problem kid” decades later does not mean you failed to grow up, it means early messages cut deep. Those beliefs can be rewritten through understanding, therapy, and compassion. You were never the problem; you were a child navigating a world that did not yet understand your mind. 

Avery Lombardi, MSc

Author

Avery Lombardi is a clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Clinical Psychology and a Bachelor’s in Psychology. She has professional experience in psychological assessment, evidence-based therapy, and research, working with both child and adult populations. Avery has provided clinical services in hospital, educational, and community settings, delivering interventions such as CBT, DBT, and tailored treatment plans for conditions including anxiety, depression, and developmental disorders. She has also contributed to research on self-stigma, self-esteem, and medication adherence in psychotic patients, and has created educational content on ADHD, treatment options, and daily coping strategies.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy. 

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy.