Why do I hold onto old labels like “lazy” or “messy”? 

If you grew up hearing words like “lazy,” “messy,” or “careless,” it’s understandable that those labels might still echo in adulthood. For many people with ADHD, these words become internalised turning from external criticism into part of their self-talk. A 2025 study published in The Journal of Attention Disorders (SAGE Journals) found that adults with ADHD often carry feelings of shame and powerlessness rooted in misunderstanding, reinforcing old labels that shape self-image. 

How internalised stigma shapes identity 

Research from ScienceDirect (ScienceDirect) shows that repeated criticism and misunderstanding during childhood can lead to lasting emotional pain and perfectionism. Many adults internalise these early experiences, oscillating between overcompensating or withdrawing to avoid judgement. According to NICE guidance (NG87), effective ADHD care must include psychoeducation and therapy that address emotional recovery and self-concept, not just symptom management. 

The Royal College of Psychiatrists identifies self-criticism, low self-esteem, and internalised shame as key psychological risks for adults with ADHD. UK clinicians and organisations such as Mind UK recommend self-compassion, validation, and group support to help individuals unlearn negative self-beliefs. 

Professional services like ADHD Certify provide diagnostic and post-diagnostic support, helping adults understand their patterns and separate personal identity from the misunderstandings of the past. 

Key takeaway 

Old labels can linger because they were repeated often enough to feel true but they never defined your worth. Through psychoeducation, therapy, and compassion, it’s possible to replace “lazy” and “messy” with more accurate words: creative, adaptive, and human. 

Avery Lombardi, MSc

Author

Avery Lombardi is a clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Clinical Psychology and a Bachelor’s in Psychology. She has professional experience in psychological assessment, evidence-based therapy, and research, working with both child and adult populations. Avery has provided clinical services in hospital, educational, and community settings, delivering interventions such as CBT, DBT, and tailored treatment plans for conditions including anxiety, depression, and developmental disorders. She has also contributed to research on self-stigma, self-esteem, and medication adherence in psychotic patients, and has created educational content on ADHD, treatment options, and daily coping strategies.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy. 

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy.