Why do I feel like I am always apologising with ADHD? 

Feeling as if you are constantly apologising is very common in ADHD. According to emerging research on rejection sensitivity in ADHD, this pattern often develops from emotional regulation difficulties, fear of criticism, and years of misunderstanding from others. It is not a personal flaw but a recognised experience linked to ADHD. 

Why chronic apologising happens 

People with ADHD frequently experience intense emotional reactions, and studies highlight that traits such as rejection sensitive dysphoria and emotional dysregulation can make even small mistakes feel overwhelming. This can trigger automatic apologising as a way to avoid conflict or reassure others. NHS guidance notes that emotional difficulties and low self-esteem can contribute to misinterpreting neutral interactions as negative, which reinforces cycles of self-blame. Difficult childhood experiences, including peer rejection described in NHS England’s ADHD Taskforce report, often strengthen the belief that apologising keeps relationships safe. 

How to reduce excessive apologising 

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), recommended in the NICE NG87 guideline, helps challenge negative thoughts and replace automatic “sorry” responses with more constructive alternatives such as “Thank you for your patience”. Emotional regulation strategies, supported by findings on emotion regulation in ADHD, can interrupt guilt spirals by creating space before reacting. Assertiveness training and psychoeducation both endorsed by NICE NG87 guideline build communication confidence and reduce reliance on apologising as a coping tool. For clarity on symptoms and tailored support, services like ADHD Certify can help you explore assessment and management options. 

Key takeaway 

Chronic apologising is usually a learned coping strategy shaped by emotional sensitivity and past experiences, not evidence that you have done something wrong. With the right tools and support, it is possible to communicate confidently without feeling the constant need to say sorry. 

Avery Lombardi, MSc

Author

Avery Lombardi is a clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Clinical Psychology and a Bachelor’s in Psychology. She has professional experience in psychological assessment, evidence-based therapy, and research, working with both child and adult populations. Avery has provided clinical services in hospital, educational, and community settings, delivering interventions such as CBT, DBT, and tailored treatment plans for conditions including anxiety, depression, and developmental disorders. She has also contributed to research on self-stigma, self-esteem, and medication adherence in psychotic patients, and has created educational content on ADHD, treatment options, and daily coping strategies.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy. 

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy.