How can I stop feeling inadequate with ADHD?

PostedDecember 2, 2025

UpdatedDecember 29, 2025

ByMy Patient Advice

Author: Avery Lombardi, MSc | Reviewed by: Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Feeling inadequate is a common experience for adults with ADHD and it’s not a personal weakness. According to NHS ADHD in adults; RCPsych ADHD guidance, this feeling often develops from a mix of executive dysfunction, emotional sensitivity, late diagnosis, and years of comparison to neurotypical expectations. Understanding the roots of inadequacy can help you replace self-blame with self-compassion and more realistic expectations.

Why inadequacy is common in ADHD

Evidence from NHS and RCPsych shows that adults with ADHD are more likely to miss deadlines, forget plans, lose focus, or become overwhelmed. These challenges stem from executive dysfunction, not a lack of effort. Over time, repeated frustrations can lead to harsh self-criticism and the belief that you’re “not good enough” (NHS ADHD in adults; RCPsych ADHD guidance).

Late diagnosis plays a major role too. Many adults spend years masking their difficulties without understanding why things feel harder. This can fuel shame and create long-standing beliefs about inadequacy. Emotional regulation difficulties including rejection sensitivity make these feelings even more intense.

Strategies that help reduce feelings of inadequacy

Here are some strategies to help reduce feelings of inadequacy:

Psychoeducation

NHS and NICE NG87 recommend psychoeducation as a starting point. Understanding how ADHD affects memory, attention, time perception, and emotion helps counter the idea that difficulties are caused by laziness or character flaws (NICE NG87).

CBT and self-compassion

Adapted CBT and compassion-focused therapy are both shown to reduce negative self-beliefs, improve emotional regulation, and build resilience. Studies from 2024 highlight that self-compassion is strongly linked with reduced shame and improved wellbeing in adults with ADHD (PubMed study; Berkshire NHS Managing Mood).

Assessment and post-diagnostic support

For adults still seeking clarity, services such as ADHD Certify offer assessments and medication reviews. Gaining a clear diagnosis and personalised support can be a powerful step toward self-understanding and reducing long-standing self-doubt.

Key Takeaway

Feeling inadequate with ADHD doesn’t mean you are inadequate. These feelings come from the condition’s impact on executive function, emotional regulation, and years of unmet expectations not a lack of ability or effort. With psychoeducation, self-compassion, realistic goals, and supportive environments, it becomes far easier to recognise your strengths, understand your challenges, and build a kinder, more grounded sense of self.

Avery Lombardi, MSc

Author

Avery Lombardi is a clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Clinical Psychology and a Bachelor’s in Psychology. She has professional experience in psychological assessment, evidence-based therapy, and research, working with both child and adult populations. Avery has provided clinical services in hospital, educational, and community settings, delivering interventions such as CBT, DBT, and tailored treatment plans for conditions including anxiety, depression, and developmental disorders. She has also contributed to research on self-stigma, self-esteem, and medication adherence in psychotic patients, and has created educational content on ADHD, treatment options, and daily coping strategies.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy.

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy.