How do expressions of love differ in autism relationships?

PostedDecember 19, 2025

UpdatedDecember 19, 2025

ByMy Patient Advice

Author: Beatrice Holloway, MSc | Reviewed by: Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

According to NHS guidance, autism or autism spectrum disorder (ASD) affects how people communicate, process emotions, and express affection. For autistic individuals, love is not felt less deeply, but it is often shown in different ways.

As NICE guidance (CG142) notes, these differences stem from variations in social communication and sensory processing, shaping how autistic people connect emotionally within relationships.

Understanding autistic expressions of love

Autistic individuals may express love through actions rather than words. This might include remembering details about a partner’s interests, completing practical tasks, or maintaining consistency and honesty in daily life. These are powerful, tangible ways of showing care and commitment.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), emotional reciprocity in autism can differ from neurotypical patterns. Some people may not express affection through eye contact or spontaneous gestures but still feel deep attachment and loyalty.

A 2025 study in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders found that autistic partners often prioritise sincerity, stability, and reliability in love, valuing shared trust and understanding over traditional romantic gestures.

Communication and emotional connection

According to NHS advice on communication and interaction, open communication helps both partners understand how each person gives and receives love. Autistic individuals may need reassurance that affection doesn’t always have to follow social “norms,” while non-autistic partners can learn to recognise alternative expressions of care such as consistency, honesty, and small acts of support.

According to NICE guidance (CG170), adapting communication styles and clarifying expectations reduces misunderstanding and builds emotional safety. When partners feel free to express affection in their own way, relationships become more authentic and balanced.

Celebrating different love languages

The key to connection lies in understanding, not correction. Each partner may have different “love languages”; one might prefer words or physical touch, while the other values routine, shared interests, or practical help. Recognising these differences allows love to be expressed naturally and meaningfully.

As the WHO highlights, celebrating neurodiversity strengthens emotional wellbeing for both partners, creating relationships built on empathy and acceptance.

Takeaway:

Autistic expressions of love may look different, but they are equally genuine. When both partners communicate openly and value authenticity over convention, love becomes a shared understanding: honest, consistent, and deeply felt.

Beatrice Holloway, MSc

Author

Beatrice Holloway is a clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Clinical Psychology and a BS in Applied Psychology. She specialises in CBT, psychological testing, and applied behaviour therapy, working with children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), developmental delays, and learning disabilities, as well as adults with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety, OCD, and substance use disorders. Holloway creates personalised treatment plans to support emotional regulation, social skills, and academic progress in children, and delivers evidence-based therapy to improve mental health and well-being across all ages.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy.

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy.