How can I accept myself with ADHD?

PostedDecember 22, 2025

UpdatedDecember 30, 2025

ByMy Patient Advice

Author: Victoria Rowe, MSc | Reviewed by: Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Self-acceptance with ADHD often starts by naming what is really going on: years of criticism, near-misses, and emotional “whiplash” can erode confidence and fuel shame. According to NHS guidance and NICE NG87, emotional dysregulation and low self-esteem are common in adults with ADHD, and they are addressable with the right support.

Why it is hard and why it can change

Evidence reviews show that emotion dysregulation is highly prevalent in adult ADHD and contributes to low mood, self-criticism, and relationship strain (PLoS One review). NHS and Royal College of Psychiatrists note how repeated setbacks and misunderstanding can harden into a belief that you’re “not good enough,” even when your strengths are real (RCPsych overview). The good news: self-acceptance improves when we treat both symptoms and the story you tell about them.

Evidence-based ways to build self-acceptance

ADHD-adapted CBT

NICE recommends structured psychological interventions for adults whose symptoms cause significant impairment, including work on organisation, thinking traps, and emotional regulation (NICE NG87). A 2024 mixed-methods study found that adapted CBT is more acceptable and effective than generic CBT for many adults with ADHD (Frontiers in Psychiatry).

Mindfulness / ACT and self-compassion

Mindfulness-based and ACT-style approaches can help you notice triggers sooner, pause, and respond with kindness rather than criticism; growing evidence links self-compassion with better mental health in ADHD (J Clin Psychol).

Psychoeducation & talking therapies

NHS services emphasise learning how ADHD affects emotions and relationships and using practical skills to reshape self-belief (NHS Talking Therapies webinar).

Coaching & peer support

Strengths-based coaching, group programmes, and ADHD-informed communities can normalise experiences, reduce shame, and build confidence (NHS overview).

Medication (when indicated)

For many adults, stabilising core symptoms makes emotional regulation work more achievable; this is part of multimodal care in UK guidance (NICE NG87).

Practical steps you can try this week

Rename the problem: “This is ADHD-style emotional surge,” not “I’m failing.”

Use a one-page compassionate plan: notice → pause → name the feeling → pick one tiny next action.

Keep a strengths ledger: three concrete wins per day (however small).

Make feedback safer: ask for one specific improvement point and one observed strength.

Bookmark support: NHS Talking Therapies, local ADHD groups, and trusted psychoeducation pages.

For behavioural support that integrates therapy-style skills with coaching, services like Theara Change are developing programmes focused on emotional regulation and self-acceptance (informational context only).

The takeaway

Self-acceptance is not pretending ADHD is easy; it is understanding how it shapes emotions and choosing kinder, evidence-based ways to respond. With adapted CBT or mindfulness/ACT, psychoeducation, and the right support, many adults find their self-talk softens, and their life opens.

Victoria Rowe, MSc

Author

Victoria Rowe is a health psychologist with a Master’s in Health Psychology and a BS in Applied Psychology. She has experience as a school psychologist, conducting behavioural assessments, developing individualized education plans (IEPs), and supporting children’s mental health. Dr. Rowe has contributed to peer-reviewed research on mental health, including studies on anxiety disorders and the impact of COVID-19 on healthcare systems. Skilled in SPSS, Minitab, and academic writing, she is committed to advancing psychological knowledge and promoting well-being through evidence-based practice.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy.

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy.