How does lack of autism awareness in others affect friendships? 

A lack of autism awareness in friends, peers, colleagues, and wider social groups can have a powerful impact on the quality, stability, and safety of autistic people’s friendships. According to NICE guidance, autistic adults often experience difficulties in forming and sustaining social relationships, not only because of their own communication differences, but because others may misinterpret these differences or fail to make reasonable adjustments. When people around an autistic person do not understand autism, misunderstandings become more common, social effort increases, and friendships can feel less secure. 

Misunderstandings and misinterpretation of communication 

Many autistic adults communicate or express emotions differently, and without awareness, others may misread these differences as disinterest, aloofness or rudeness. The National Autistic Society explains that communication styles based on directness, honesty or reduced eye contact are often wrongly interpreted, leading to tension or distance in friendships. NHS resources also note that miscommunication is a frequent cause of friendship breakdown, especially when peers rely heavily on non-verbal cues that autistic people may use differently. 

Stigma, judgement and social exclusion 

Evidence from Autistica shows that negative reactions, stereotyping and fear of being misunderstood can drive social anxiety, making autistic people more cautious about forming or maintaining friendships. When others lack understanding, autistic people may face bullying, exclusion, or being overlooked socially, especially in school or workplace settings. NICE guidance for children and young people highlights that exclusion often arises from peers not understanding autistic behaviour, and recommends awareness and peer education to increase inclusion. 

The “double empathy problem” and mutual misunderstanding 

Research summarised in UK clinical guidance on social interaction highlights the double empathy problem: the idea that autistic and non-autistic people may misunderstand each other because they communicate and interpret the world differently. Studies show that autistic–autistic interactions are often smooth, but mixed interactions can face breakdowns when non-autistic people lack awareness, as summarised in Understanding and supporting the social interaction of autistic children and young people Improving understanding on both sides can strengthen rapport and create more balanced friendships. 

Masking to avoid rejection 

When others do not understand autism, many autistic adults feel compelled to mask altering their behaviour to appear more “neurotypical.” Research into camouflaging shows that masking can help someone appear socially accepted, but over time it is draining, increases anxiety, and reduces authenticity within friendships, as shown in Camouflaging in autism: A systematic review Friendships built on masking often feel fragile or unsustainable. 

Loneliness, withdrawal and reduced social participation 

A systematic review of loneliness in autistic adults shows that misunderstanding from others is strongly linked to chronic loneliness and reduced wellbeing. When friendships require constant explanation, correction or emotional labour, autistic people may withdraw to protect themselves. Conversely, communities and peers who learn about autism and adjust their communication help prevent isolation and support more meaningful, lasting friendships. 

What helps 

According to NICE, NHS England and major charities, autistic friendships improve when: 

• people use clear, direct communication 

• peers understand sensory needs and allow flexibility 

• social environments are predictable and low-pressure 

• friends avoid assumptions and ask open, respectful questions 

• Schools, workplaces, and communities offer autism-aware training.  

• These adjustments reduce misunderstandings and make friendships more equal and supportive. 

Takeaway 

Lack of autism awareness in others can limit trust, connection, and belonging to autistic people by creating misunderstandings, stigma, and emotional exhaustion. But when peers and communities understand autism and adapt to communication and expectations, friendships become more stable, more respectful and far more fulfilling for everyone involved.