Why do individuals with ADHD have trouble internalising praise?
Many people with ADHD find it surprisingly difficult to believe or absorb positive feedback. Even when they hear praise, it may feel uncomfortable, unearned, or quickly forgotten. This isn’t a lack of gratitude; it reflects how ADHD affects attention, memory, emotion, and reward processing. According to NHS and NICE guidance, challenges with self-esteem, working memory, and emotional regulation all influence how success is recognised and valued (NHS; NICE NG87).
Cognitive patterns that make praise harder to believe
Working memory limitations mean positive comments may not “stick” in the same way as criticism. People with ADHD often recall mistakes clearly but struggle to retrieve positive experiences. This selective attention feeds a mental habit of discounting achievements (“It wasn’t a big deal,” “Anyone could do that”).
Executive-function challenges also affect self-monitoring. The Royal College of Psychiatrists notes that adults with ADHD often doubt their own competence, especially when performance varies from day to day (RCPsych). If someone can’t consistently replicate a success, they may assume it wasn’t real or deserved.
Emotional responses that block praise from landing
Rejection sensitivity and shame play a major part. Praise can feel exposing, as if it raises expectations or draws attention to perceived weaknesses. People may instinctively dismiss compliments (“They’re just being nice”) because praise doesn’t match their internal self-image.
Emotional dysregulation means negative events often feel stronger and more memorable than positive ones. If criticism creates a big emotional reaction and praise doesn’t, the brain naturally leans toward the more intense information.
Masking; working hard to hide difficulties can also make praise feel inaccurate. If success feels dependent on extraordinary effort, rather than ability, it becomes hard to accept positive feedback as genuine.
A different reward response in ADHD
ADHD involves differences in dopamine-based reward pathways. Studies show that people with ADHD often have a blunted internal reward response, meaning their brains may not register praise as strongly or reinforce it over time (Nature study).
This is why immediate, specific, and repeated positive reinforcement is often more effective for confidence-building; a core principle reflected in NICE NG87 recommendations for supporting self-esteem in ADHD.
The impact of criticism, comparison, and low self-worth
Many people with ADHD grow up hearing more about their mistakes than their strengths. Over time, this leads to a self-schema built around perceived inadequacy. When praise finally comes, it clashes with years of internalised messaging and feels hard to integrate. Anxiety and depression are both common in ADHD, further amplify self-doubt and make positive feedback harder to trust.
A takeaway
Difficulty internalising praise is not a sign of arrogance, insecurity, or lack of awareness; it’s a recognised pattern linked to how ADHD affects memory, emotion, and reward systems. With the right support, people with ADHD can learn to notice and value their achievements more consistently, helping praise feel more real, more believable, and more deserved.
