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How can I build better relationships with ADHD? 

Author: Victoria Rowe, MSc | Reviewed by: Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Building and maintaining healthy relationships can be challenging when you have ADHD, but it is absolutely possible. According to the NHS and Royal College of Psychiatrists, ADHD can affect how people listen, remember, plan, and respond emotionally, sometimes creating frustration or misunderstanding in close relationships. 

Understanding how ADHD affects relationships 

Core symptoms such as inattentiveness, impulsivity, and emotional dysregulation can lead to missed appointments, forgotten tasks, or quick reactions that feel hurtful to others. Research from BMJ Open notes that these patterns often stem from executive dysfunction, not lack of care, and that recognising this distinction helps rebuild trust and empathy (BMJ Open, 2024). 

Communication and empathy 

NICE guidance NG87 encourages families, partners, and friends to talk openly about how ADHD affects daily life. Simple steps, like clarifying plans in writing, setting shared reminders, and using non-blaming language, can ease tension. Mind adds that empathy is key: seeing ADHD behaviours as symptoms, not choices, fosters patience and understanding. 

Evidence-based ways to strengthen connection 

  • Psychoeducation: Learn about ADHD and its effects on relationships. 
  • CBT or ADHD coaching: Build emotional regulation, communication, and problem-solving skills. 
  • Couples or family therapy: Recommended by NICE for improving shared understanding and conflict resolution. 
  • Practical tools: Shared calendars, checklists, and visual reminders reduce stress for everyone involved. 

Supportive coaching programmes such as Theara Change can help individuals and couples practice these strategies in structured, evidence-based ways. 

A compassionate approach 

Many people with ADHD experience rejection of sensitivity and guilt about relationship difficulties. NHS and Mind guidance emphasise that self-compassion, humour, and small consistent changes matter more than perfection (NHS, 2025). 

Takeaway

Healthy relationships with ADHD are built on understanding, communication, and teamwork. With psychoeducation, empathy, and the right support, people with ADHD, and those who love them can replace frustration with connection and grow stronger together. 

Victoria Rowe, MSc
Author

Victoria Rowe is a health psychologist with a Master’s in Health Psychology and a BS in Applied Psychology. She has experience as a school psychologist, conducting behavioural assessments, developing individualized education plans (IEPs), and supporting children’s mental health. Dr. Rowe has contributed to peer-reviewed research on mental health, including studies on anxiety disorders and the impact of COVID-19 on healthcare systems. Skilled in SPSS, Minitab, and academic writing, she is committed to advancing psychological knowledge and promoting well-being through evidence-based practice.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy. 

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS
Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy. 

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