How can I manage conflicts with ADHD?

PostedDecember 22, 2025

UpdatedDecember 30, 2025

ByMy Patient Advice

Author: Victoria Rowe, MSc | Reviewed by: Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Conflicts can feel sharper and more exhausting when you live with ADHD. According to the Royal College of Psychiatrists’ 2023 good practice guidance, impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and attention difficulties often make it harder to pause and respond calmly during disagreements. But with awareness and practical tools, it is possible to reduce tension and repair relationships at home, at work, and beyond.

Why conflict escalates more easily

ADHD affects the brain’s ability to regulate attention and emotion, meaning reactions can come fast and strong. A 2024 study in Frontiers in Psychiatry found that adults with higher emotional lability reported greater interpersonal strain and lower quality of life. Similarly, a 2023 review in Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience linked sensory and emotional overload to irritability, anger and reactive aggression, patterns that can make conflicts escalate before you’ve had time to think.

Learning to pause and reset

The good news is that emotion-regulation skills can be learned. NICE guidance (NG87) recommends structured psychological interventions such as CBT, psychoeducation and coaching for adults with ADHD. These focus on improving organisation, self-monitoring, and emotional awareness, all key for managing conflict.

A 2022 systematic review in Frontiers in Psychology found that CBT-based and mindfulness approaches reduce emotional reactivity and improve communication, especially when partners or peers are involved. Learning to notice early signs of escalation, take a brief “time out,” and use calm, assertive “I” statements can prevent minor tensions from turning into arguments.

Practical strategies that help

NHS-supported guidance, such as Berkshire Healthcare’s ADHD and Relationships leaflet suggests planning serious conversations for quiet moments, clarifying what’s been said, and apologising promptly when impulsive reactions cause friction. The City & Hackney ADHD Support Pack (ELFT, 2025) adds that structured routines, reminders and role-played practice can help adults rehearse calmer responses before stressful meetings or discussions.

For some, CBT or mindfulness-based therapy may provide a safe space to practise emotional regulation and perspective-taking. A pilot study on mindfulness-based cognitive therapy showed improvements in self-awareness and calm emotional responses skills directly linked to resolving conflict more constructively.

Reassuring takeaway

Conflict is a normal part of human relationships, but for adults with ADHD, learning specific emotional and communication strategies can make all the difference. According to NICE and RCPsych guidance, combining structured therapy, psychoeducation, and clear communication habits helps adults manage strong emotions, reduce defensiveness, and rebuild understanding. With the right tools, conflict can become an opportunity for connection, not disconnection.

Victoria Rowe, MSc

Author

Victoria Rowe is a health psychologist with a Master’s in Health Psychology and a BS in Applied Psychology. She has experience as a school psychologist, conducting behavioural assessments, developing individualized education plans (IEPs), and supporting children’s mental health. Dr. Rowe has contributed to peer-reviewed research on mental health, including studies on anxiety disorders and the impact of COVID-19 on healthcare systems. Skilled in SPSS, Minitab, and academic writing, she is committed to advancing psychological knowledge and promoting well-being through evidence-based practice.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy.

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy.