Why do I feel like I’m not good enough with ADHD? 

Many people with ADHD grow up feeling “not good enough”, even though the problem is the environment, not the person. According to NHS guidance, difficulties with attention, organisation, impulsivity, and emotional regulation often lead to repeated setbacks or criticism, especially in settings not designed for neurodivergent thinking  (NICE NG87). 

Over time, these experiences can create a cycle of self-doubt, shame, or feeling fundamentally flawed. The Royal College of Psychiatrists notes that this emotional impact is common in adults who were misunderstood or unsupported growing up (RCPsych: ADHD in adults). 

How ADHD symptoms affect self-esteem 

Symptoms like forgetfulness, emotional swings, inconsistent focus, or difficulty starting tasks can lead to negative feedback from others. This can slowly erode self-worth and reinforce a belief that you’re “not good enough”. Research highlights that emotional dysregulation and masking symptoms in social or work settings can further drain confidence (Oxford Health NHS: Managing Emotions). 

Children and teens with ADHD often receive more criticism than praise, which can follow them into adulthood (NHS: ADHD in children/teens). 

Shame, imposter feelings, and ADHD 

Repeated experiences of underachievement or misunderstanding can lead to imposter syndrome. Many adults with ADHD describe feeling like they are always “behind” or disappointing others, even when they are working twice as hard. 

This emotional pattern is not a personality flaw; it is a predictable outcome of living with an undiagnosed or unsupported neurodevelopmental condition PMC 2022. 

Evidence-based ways to improve self-esteem 

NHS and NICE recommend several approaches that help challenge shame-based thoughts and build a stronger sense of self-worth. 

Try CBT or strengths-based therapy 

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) helps challenge negative beliefs, build self-compassion, and develop healthier thinking patterns (NHS: CBT). Strengths-based approaches focus on what you are good at, not what you struggle with, and are particularly effective for adults with ADHD. 

Build supportive routines 

Routines, visual reminders, and structured planning systems reduce daily overwhelm and help create small, consistent wins, improving confidence over time (NHS: ADHD management). 

Focus on validation and self-compassion 

Learning to understand ADHD and practicing self-kindness helps shift the narrative from “I’m not enough” to “My brain works differently, and that is okay.” 

When co-occurring anxiety or depression play a role 

Conditions such as anxiety or depression often occur alongside ADHD and can intensify feelings of inadequacy (NICE NG87: Comorbidities). Addressing both is important for rebuilding confidence and emotional wellbeing. 

Takeaway 

Feeling “not good enough” is a common and understandable experience for people with ADHD. But you are not broken. With understanding, structured support, and evidence-based tools, it is absolutely possible to rebuild confidence and develop a more compassionate relationship with yourself.