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Why do people with ADHD feel misunderstood? 

Posted
Updated
ByMy Patient Advice
Author: Victoria Rowe, MSc | Reviewed by: Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Many adults and children with ADHD describe a deep sense of being misunderstood, not because their experiences are invisible, but because they’re often misread. According to the NHS and Royal College of Psychiatrists, ADHD symptoms such as distractibility, emotional intensity, or disorganisation are frequently mistaken for carelessness or poor motivation. When people “mask” these traits to cope socially or at work, they may appear to function well, but often at the cost of exhaustion and self-doubt. 

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Stigma and misconceptions 

Public understanding of ADHD still lags the evidence. NICE and BMJ 2025 summaries highlight that myths persist, such as ADHD being a childhood issue, a behavioural problem, or “just bad parenting.” Adult ADHD affects around 2.5–4% of the population and is recognised globally as a neurodevelopmental condition. 

Diagnosis and support 

NICE guidance NG87 recommends that ADHD should be assessed holistically in anyone experiencing persistent inattention, impulsivity, or restlessness that impairs daily life (NICE NG87, 2018). Early and accurate diagnosis, whether through NHS pathways or private assessment services like ADHD Certify can help reduce misunderstanding and promote access to evidence-based support and medication review. 

The impact of being misunderstood 

Late or missed diagnosis can take a serious toll on wellbeing. People with ADHD often experience shame, anxiety, or chronic self-criticism due to years of mislabelling. Evidence from NHS and PubMed studies shows that many adults, particularly women and those with inattentive-type ADHD, face higher rates of depression and relationship strain when their symptoms go unrecognised (PubMed, 2025). 

Building understanding 

Experts recommend combining psychoeducation with open, compassionate dialogue. NICE and Mind advise that families, teachers, and employers should learn how ADHD affects daily functioning and focus on strengths rather than deficits (Mind, 2023). Behavioural therapy, CBT, and coaching approaches, such as those developed by programmes like Theara Change, can help individuals develop tools for emotional regulation and self-advocacy. 

Takeaway

ADHD is not a lack of effort or discipline; it is a neurodevelopmental condition that deserves understanding, not judgment. Early recognition, patient-centred care, and honest conversations can help replace stigma with empathy, enabling people with ADHD to feel truly seen and supported. 

Victoria Rowe, MSc
Author

Victoria Rowe is a health psychologist with a Master’s in Health Psychology and a BS in Applied Psychology. She has experience as a school psychologist, conducting behavioural assessments, developing individualized education plans (IEPs), and supporting children’s mental health. Dr. Rowe has contributed to peer-reviewed research on mental health, including studies on anxiety disorders and the impact of COVID-19 on healthcare systems. Skilled in SPSS, Minitab, and academic writing, she is committed to advancing psychological knowledge and promoting well-being through evidence-based practice.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy. 

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS
Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy. 

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