How are emotional expressions different in autism within relationships?Ā
According to NHS guidance, autism or autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a lifelong neurodevelopmental difference that shapes how people experience, express, and interpret emotions. These differences are not about a lack of feeling but rather reflect alternative ways of processing and showing emotion.
Understanding emotional expression in autism
According to NICE guidance (CG142), autistic individuals may express emotions differently from what others expect. Someone might appear calm when feeling anxious or use minimal facial expressions even when deeply engaged. These patterns often relate to differences in emotional regulation, sensory processing, and social interpretation.
Studies in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders (2025) suggest that emotional processing in autism is not diminished, rather, itās often more intense and requires additional time to regulate. This can lead to what appears to be delayed or muted reactions in social settings, particularly during emotionally charged moments.
How this affects relationships
Emotional differences can influence how autistic people connect with partners, family members, and friends. According to NHS guidance on communication and interaction, many autistic individuals prefer clarity and honesty in emotional exchanges. They may express affection through practical gestures such as helping, sharing interests, or maintaining routines rather than verbal reassurance or physical touch.
Partners unfamiliar with these expressions might misinterpret calmness or a need for personal space as disinterest. When in reality, these are ways to self-regulate and manage sensory or emotional overload. Conversely, some autistic individuals may experience emotions very powerfully and need support to express them safely and comfortably.
The World Health Organization (WHO) notes that these communication gaps can create friction within relationships unless both sides develop shared understanding and tolerance for different emotional styles.
Building understanding and emotional connection
NICE and NHS emphasise that successful relationships grow from awareness, open dialogue, and structured support. NICE recommendations highlight that psychoeducation and relationship-based interventions can help autistic and non-autistic partners recognise emotional cues, manage stress, and express needs more effectively.
Emotional regulation strategies can also strengthen relationships. NICE and NHS resources suggest using clear verbal expressions, agreed cues (such as a signal for āI need spaceā), or setting planned conversation times to prevent miscommunication during heightened emotional moments. These approaches promote empathy and ensure that both partners feel understood and respected.
Recent evidence from a BMJ Open study (2024) support using structured communication tools and family-based psychoeducation to reduce emotional misunderstandings and build confidence within neurodiverse relationships.
Recognising emotional diversity
Autistic expressions of emotion are varied and deeply genuine. They may not always align with social expectations, but they hold the same meaning and emotional depth. By recognising these differences, partners and families can move beyond assumptions and towards authentic connection.
Support groups, couplesā communication programmes, and NHS guidance-backed educational resources can help partners understand and adapt to emotional differences: fostering resilience, trust, and mutual respect.
