How do siblings cope with jealousy in families with autism?

PostedDecember 19, 2025

UpdatedDecember 19, 2025

ByMy Patient Advice

Author: Beatrice Holloway, MSc | Reviewed by: Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

According to NHS guidance, autism or autism spectrum disorder (ASD) affects how individuals communicate, process emotions, and respond to the world around them. In families where one child is autistic, siblings may experience a wide range of emotions, including pride, empathy, protectiveness, and sometimes jealousy.

According to NICE guidance (CG142), these feelings are a natural part of family life and don’t indicate a lack of love or understanding. Instead, they highlight the importance of open communication and emotional support for all children in the household.

Understanding sibling jealousy

Jealousy often arises when siblings perceive that more attention, time, or patience is given to the autistic child, particularly if therapy appointments or behavioural support dominate family routines. A 2025 study in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders found that siblings who lacked clear explanations of autism were more likely to experience frustration or confusion.

The World Health Organization (WHO) notes that families benefit when all children are given space to express their emotions, including anger or jealousy without shame.

Helping siblings manage emotions

According to NHS advice on communication and interaction, parents can support siblings by creating balance, clarity, and empathy in family life. Helpful strategies include:

Explaining autism simply and positively: Help siblings understand why their brother or sister may need more support at times.

Creating one-to-one time: Dedicate regular moments for each child to feel seen and valued.

Encouraging honesty: Allow children to talk about frustration safely without guilt.

Recognising effort equally: Praise all children’s achievements, not just progress linked to therapy or milestones.

These steps reduce competition and build emotional resilience in both autistic and non-autistic siblings.

Building empathy through inclusion

According to NICE guidance (CG170), involving siblings in autism education such as learning about sensory needs or communication styles helps transform jealousy into understanding. When children are included in care routines or small supportive roles (at an appropriate level), they often feel more connected and prouder of their sibling relationship.

Over time, empathy replaces resentment as the family learns to celebrate differences together.

Takeaway:

Jealousy among siblings in autism families is natural, but it can evolve into empathy when children are supported, included, and understood. With open conversation and emotional balance, every sibling can feel valued and secure

Beatrice Holloway, MSc

Author

Beatrice Holloway is a clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Clinical Psychology and a BS in Applied Psychology. She specialises in CBT, psychological testing, and applied behaviour therapy, working with children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), developmental delays, and learning disabilities, as well as adults with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety, OCD, and substance use disorders. Holloway creates personalised treatment plans to support emotional regulation, social skills, and academic progress in children, and delivers evidence-based therapy to improve mental health and well-being across all ages.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy.

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy.