What Are Common Misunderstandings About Friendships for Autism?
Friendship is often viewed through a neurotypical lens, full of social subtleties, shared emotions, and spontaneous conversation. For autistic people, however, friendships may follow a different rhythm. These differences can lead to misunderstanding, where others mistake alternative social styles for disinterest, detachment, or lack of empathy.
According to NICE guidance, autism affects communication and social understanding, but it does not reduce the capacity for care, connection, or loyalty. Instead, it shapes how friendships form, develop, and are maintained.
Misunderstanding 1: “Autistic people don’t want friends”
As NHS advice clarifies, many autistic people want social connection but find traditional social expectations confusing or tiring. Difficulties interpreting non-verbal cues or small talk can make forming friendships feel risky, especially after experiences of exclusion or misunderstanding.
Autistic friendships often grow around shared interests, honesty, and consistency rather than frequent interaction. The desire for friendship is usually present, it just unfolds differently.
Misunderstanding 2: “Autistic people don’t understand emotions”
The National Autistic Society notes that autistic people experience empathy deeply, but may express it through practical support, quiet presence, or truthful communication rather than through expected emotional signals.
For example, an autistic friend may show care by helping with a task or sharing a favourite interest instead of offering verbal reassurance. These forms of empathy are equally valid, just expressed differently.
Misunderstanding 3: “Friendships with autistic people are one-sided”
This misconception often arises because autistic individuals may communicate directly or need recovery time after social interaction. However, Autistica’s PACT research shows that when both people understand each other’s social styles, friendships can be deeply mutual.
Autistic friends often offer reliability, emotional honesty, and strong moral loyalty. Once trust is built, these friendships are known for long-term stability: qualities many neurotypical people value highly.
Misunderstanding 4: “Autistic people prefer to be alone”
Solitude and loneliness are not the same. Many autistic people need downtime to regulate after sensory or emotional overload, but this doesn’t mean they reject social connections. With patience and understanding from peers or family, relationships can flourish at a comfortable pace.
As NICE emphasises, support should help autistic people connect authentically, not force social conformity.
Takeaway
Common misunderstandings about autism and friendship stem from expecting neurotypical social behaviour instead of appreciating neurodiverse connection styles.
As NHS, NICE, and National Autistic Society highlight, autistic people value friendship just as deeply as anyone else often with remarkable loyalty, sincerity, and depth.
When society learns to see these differences not as deficits but as diversity, friendships between autistic and non-autistic people become richer, more genuine, and beautifully human.
