How do misinterpretations of autistic communication affect relationships?

PostedDecember 4, 2025

UpdatedDecember 4, 2025

ByMy Patient Advice

Author: Beatrice Holloway, MSc | Reviewed by: Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Autism and communication misunderstanding is a frequent source of tension in relationships, especially when neurotypical individuals misread intentions or emotional cues. Many difficulties in partnerships, friendships, or even workplace interactions can trace back to autism and communication misunderstanding, not a lack of care or interest.

Autistic communication can often be more literal, direct, or less emotionally expressive than expected. This difference may lead to relationship challenges where one person feels ignored, hurt, or dismissed. However, these reactions are typically based on assumptions grounded in neurotypical norms not on the autistic person’s intent.

The double empathy problem suggests that both autistic and non-autistic people can struggle to understand each other’s communication styles. It’s not a one-sided issue, but a mutual gap in perspective that often results in social conflict or emotional disconnect.

How Misunderstandings Appear

Even minor differences in style can lead to serious emotional misalignment:

Misreading Emotional Tone

An autistic person might speak in a neutral tone, leading others to assume they’re bored or annoyed even when they’re simply being calm or focused.

Literal Responses

Autistic individuals may answer questions directly without recognising implied meanings or social subtexts, which can be misinterpreted as blunt or indifferent.

Difficulty with Small Talk

When conversations skip pleasantries, it might appear dismissive when in reality, it’s a sign of efficiency or social discomfort.

These disconnects can ease when both parties understand each other’s communication approaches.

Visit providers like Autism Detect for personal consultations that promote better communication, awareness, and support.

For a deeper dive into the science, diagnosis, and full treatment landscape, read our complete guide to Communication Challenges.

Beatrice Holloway, MSc

Author

Beatrice Holloway is a clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Clinical Psychology and a BS in Applied Psychology. She specialises in CBT, psychological testing, and applied behaviour therapy, working with children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), developmental delays, and learning disabilities, as well as adults with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety, OCD, and substance use disorders. Holloway creates personalised treatment plans to support emotional regulation, social skills, and academic progress in children, and delivers evidence-based therapy to improve mental health and well-being across all ages.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy.

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy.