How does peer misunderstanding affect self-esteem in autistic people?

PostedDecember 4, 2025

UpdatedDecember 4, 2025

ByMy Patient Advice

Author: Beatrice Holloway, MSc | Reviewed by: Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Autism and peer misunderstanding often form an invisible barrier that impacts emotional wellbeing. Even when autistic individuals communicate clearly, differences in tone, timing, or body language may lead to confusion or misinterpretation by peers. These disconnects can gradually erode self-confidence, shape negative social perception, and cause lasting relationship impact.

In school or social settings, autistic people may experience rejection not because of what they say, but because of how it’s received. For example, a literal interpretation of a joke or missing an unspoken cue may result in ridicule or exclusion. When these moments accumulate, autism and peer misunderstanding can lead to emotional withdrawal or attempts to mask natural communication styles just to fit in.

Signs That Misunderstanding Is Affecting Emotional Health

Understanding how these issues present can lead to more effective support.

Avoidance of Group Conversations

Autistic individuals may start distancing themselves from peer interactions, fearing they’ll be misunderstood or judged.

Overthinking After Social Interactions

They might replay conversations in their head, worrying they said the wrong thing or misread someone else’s tone.

Increasing Anxiety or Mood Swings

The emotional toll of repeated misunderstanding can affect mood stability, energy levels, and overall wellbeing.

Helping peers learn to listen without bias and supporting autistic individuals in embracing their communication style is essential to reducing this emotional burden. Education and empathy can transform how acceptance is built.

Visit providers like Autism Detect for personal consultations that support inclusive communication environments.

For a deeper dive into the science, diagnosis, and full treatment landscape, read our complete guide to Communication Challenges.

Beatrice Holloway, MSc

Author

Beatrice Holloway is a clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Clinical Psychology and a BS in Applied Psychology. She specialises in CBT, psychological testing, and applied behaviour therapy, working with children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), developmental delays, and learning disabilities, as well as adults with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety, OCD, and substance use disorders. Holloway creates personalised treatment plans to support emotional regulation, social skills, and academic progress in children, and delivers evidence-based therapy to improve mental health and well-being across all ages.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy.

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy.