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Do Women with ADHD Experience More Shame and Perfectionism? 

PostedSeptember 25, 2025
UpdatedSeptember 25, 2025
ByMy Patient Advice

ADHD shame and perfectionism are common struggles for many women with ADHD. Due to the unique way ADHD presents in women, they often experience heightened feelings of self-criticism. Women with ADHD may feel ashamed of their challenges with focus, organisation, or emotional regulation, especially when they compare themselves to societal expectations. This can lead to an intense drive for perfectionism, as they attempt to meet unattainable standards to compensate for their perceived shortcomings. 

The pressure to conform to gender expectations can make these feelings of shame and perfectionism even more pronounced. Women with ADHD may internalise these societal pressures, believing they should be able to manage both their symptoms and their responsibilities flawlessly. This can lead to stress, burnout, and difficulty coping with everyday life. 

Common Symptoms 

Self-Criticism and Emotional Health 

ADHD shame and perfectionism often result in self-criticism, where women are overly harsh on themselves for mistakes or perceived failures. This internalised pressure can lead to emotional health struggles, such as anxiety or depression. 

Coping Mechanisms and Mental Well-Being 

Women with ADHD may develop coping mechanisms, such as overworking or avoiding tasks, to deal with these feelings of shame. However, without proper support, these behaviours can exacerbate mental health issues and reduce overall well-being. 

Recognising the link between ADHD shame and perfectionism is crucial in providing effective treatment and support for women with ADHD, helping them build healthier coping strategies and improve their emotional health. 

Visit providers like ADHD Certify for personal consultations and expert advice tailored to your needs.    

For a deeper dive into the science, diagnosis, and full treatment landscape, read our complete guide to Girls and women with ADHD. 

Harriet Winslow, BSc - My patient advice author - mypatientadvice.co.uk

Harriet Winslow, BSc

Author

Harriet Winslow is a clinical psychologist with a Bachelor’s in Clinical Psychology and extensive experience in behaviour therapy and developmental disorders. She has worked with children and adolescents with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder (ASD), learning disabilities, and behavioural challenges, providing individual and group therapy using evidence-based approaches such as CBT and DBT. Dr. Winslow has developed and implemented personalised treatment plans, conducted formal and informal assessments, and delivered crisis intervention for clients in need of urgent mental health care. Her expertise spans assessment, treatment planning, and behavioural intervention for both neurodevelopmental and mental health conditions.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy.

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS, author and a reviewer for my patient advice - mypatientadvice.co.uk

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy. 

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