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How do I deal with feeling unreliable because of ADHD? 

PostedOctober 20, 2025
UpdatedOctober 20, 2025
ByMy Patient Advice
Author: Victoria Rowe, MSc | Reviewed by: Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS

When you forget something important again or cancel at the last minute because your brain just could not pull it together, it hits hard. That sinking feeling of letting someone down is one many people with ADHD know too well. This persistent ADHD feeling of unreliablity is not just about missed tasks; it is about the emotional toll that comes with them. 

ADHD can make even well-intentioned people feel flaky or inconsistent, especially when task forgetting becomes a pattern. And the more often this happens, the heavier the emotional frustration gets. You may find yourself over-apologising, avoiding commitments, or feeling like you’re constantly disappointing others and yourself. 

Complete your ADHD assessment

Why ADHD Impacts Reliability and How to Rebuild Confidence 

Here are why these feelings run so deep, and what can help ease them: 

Unpredictable executive function:  

ADHD affects planning, memory, and time awareness, the pillars of dependability. Using structured tools like calendars, reminders, and shared planning apps can bridge gaps. 

High personal standards:  

People with ADHD often care deeply and feel shame when they fall short. Reframing mistakes as symptoms, not character flaws, supports emotional recovery. 

Social misunderstandings:  

Others may interpret forgetfulness as indifference, compounding the guilt. Honest communication and boundary-setting help align expectations. 

Visit providers like ADHD Certify for personal consultations designed to support emotional balance, routine-building, and reliability strategies.

For a deeper dive into the science, diagnosis, and full treatment landscape, read our complete guide to Losing track of conversations or tasks.

Complete your ADHD assessment
Victoria Rowe, MSc, author for my patient advice - mypatientadvice.co.uk
Victoria Rowe, MSc
Author

Victoria Rowe is a health psychologist with a Master’s in Health Psychology and a BS in Applied Psychology. She has experience as a school psychologist, conducting behavioural assessments, developing individualized education plans (IEPs), and supporting children’s mental health. Dr. Rowe has contributed to peer-reviewed research on mental health, including studies on anxiety disorders and the impact of COVID-19 on healthcare systems. Skilled in SPSS, Minitab, and academic writing, she is committed to advancing psychological knowledge and promoting well-being through evidence-based practice.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the author's privacy. 

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS, author and a reviewer for my patient advice - mypatientadvice.co.uk
Dr. Rebecca Fernandez, MBBS
Reviewer

Dr. Rebecca Fernandez is a UK-trained physician with an MBBS and experience in general surgery, cardiology, internal medicine, gynecology, intensive care, and emergency medicine. She has managed critically ill patients, stabilised acute trauma cases, and provided comprehensive inpatient and outpatient care. In psychiatry, Dr. Fernandez has worked with psychotic, mood, anxiety, and substance use disorders, applying evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based therapies. Her skills span patient assessment, treatment planning, and the integration of digital health solutions to support mental well-being.

All qualifications and professional experience stated above are authentic and verified by our editorial team. However, pseudonym and image likeness are used to protect the reviewer's privacy.